Here's the thing: You need to go find Dan Bull's videos and watch them all, and then send him lots of money. He's in England, so you'll have to convert to pounds or... I dunno... Septims? Bottle Caps? He'll probably be cool with septims actually.
That's it. The more words you have to read here means the less time you have to devote to Douglby.
With Brightest of (English) Greens,